One innocuous day eating breakfast with my brother I was so irritated with hearing him eat, and I was very rude to him. Years later, I started seeing the word misophonia on social media, but used in a funny context. I felt horrible how I treated my brother that day, so I just couldn’t share in their humor. I guess I had lots of social/mood issues I was failing at addressing. And since I was oblivious to those, then I really didn’t feel like declaring being part of any misophonia club. There were times I enjoyed just reading, going on dates, playing video games, college, working, and keeping to myself and not really addressing these problems. Maybe I was thinking about career ideas, Neopets, and Sims. I think having a conversation makes it disappear anyhow. As long as I could keep the airwaves and my brain full of ideas and things to do, then it really didn’t bother me.
But I notice if I am upset about something else, then I have to take steps to relax. It’s like acid under pressure rising up from my chest. I have to remember that I make noises too when I eat and it does not bother me. I remember that I never want to make any one feel bad and risk looking like a horrible person. I remind myself that this moment will pass. I will find something else to focus on. When I open my eyes again my boyfriend and son are looking at me with curiosity, and also feeling grateful for the good food they are chewing. All is well again.