Here is a quick article on the do’s and don’ts of childhood anxiety. The main take aways here are to ask questions open as possible without any bias to it. Just leave out negative words. Then, help them feel like you really heard them, “So what your saying is…” This is kind of a tricky part, because it’s best not to let your emotions get the best of you. I only have one kid, but I still find it a challenge not to react to ear shattering yelling or complaining. And instead, just try to be observant. So, once you communicated that you fully understand what the issue is, then you can either give them your perspective, reasons why they can get through it, or give them ideas that would make things easier. Saying things like, “It’s not so bad.” Will only tarnish credibility, because it already feels so bad. Anyway, it’s a great article, and there’s lots more great info about this.
I started learning about tarot as a teen
Each card embodies a different scene
A deck : a universe in whispers
For the eye to listen and behold
This card may give you different feelings and thoughts depending on what you hold
But for me, especially 11 years ago, it felt quite ominous.
Maybe it meant I love a pieces; that is true.
Maybe it meant… I would be reflecting on things when I would rather be at peace.
The lobster could be hiding in the water staying safe, and instead is wandering around being attracted to the moon (which seems pretty fruitless), now it’s going to get eaten by a racoon, coyote, or bobcat. Just great.
But despite all that, I am okay, and without it I would have never wanted to learn to be a wiser, kinder person.
Maybe after all, the moon led the lobster to calmer waters. Just a thought.
Has there ever been an experience in your life that made you realize that you wanted to get better at something? A moment you saw a certain book, recording, video, or reading? A moment when you couldn’t help, but take a risk?
Basically, when you are aware of your worth at all times, then no one else can sell you short, or make you doubt that you can handle a certain situation. Because, after all, we change and get better every day with practice, anyway.
So keep inventory:
Are you focused/hard-working, a networking hub, or idea factory?
Is your writing organized/educational or entertaining/cinematic?
Are you great at diffusing difficult situations, kind, good at coming up with win-win solutions, or making everyone laugh?
Put these little reminders somewhere you’ll see them every day, so when you are feeling bad for being in a bad/tired mood, you’ll be reminded of all your good characteristics and you can have faith it will pass. You might even be able to help someone you love feel better about a certain situation that’s bothering them when you remind them of what they have going for them. ❤
What are some ways you remind yourself of your true value? Can you think of 100 great qualities that you have?
Here is an article that grabbed my attention, and after reading it my brain was arguing unknowns and feeling so much information was left out. What can anyone do, right?
Then, I found this video. I was surprised to see that such a small percentage of people liked it, because I thought Gabor was very inciteful. Basically, he was saying people get chronically ill, because in the process of serving others, they forget about themselves. They learn to suppress their most basic feelings/needs as babies to maintain a connection with the people they cannot live without, because it is a survival instinct.
The conclusion is optimistic and simple. If you want to heal, be aware of the other survival instinct: the connection with yourself and what you need.
What gives people the motivation to start a career, or start a business? How do people have the gumption to get up in the morning to make their bed in five minutes as part of their routine? Before reading Millionaire Success Habits, by Dean Graziosi, I probably would have just grumbled at those questions, because that’s just the default way I have perceived my world so far. But now I know: one has to consciously, tenaciously practice happiness. I’m going to be replacing those energy zapping thoughts and emotions with these 10 tips. Now, I can reread them until I can recall them as tools in my mental toolbox:
1. Define what happiness looks and feels like to you. What brings you peace and makes you smile? What purpose gives your life meaning? What are you thankful for? Make a list, and add too it often. Know that what makes you happy will change as you change in life.
2. Make the present your friend, and be happy today. If you’re having a bad moment, then it’s ok to take comfort in the thought that every day is different, or that you and your friend have tickets to a great show Friday. Just don’t tell yourself you have to wait for some life altering event to happen like kids moving out or buying your own place to finally be happy.
Please, don’t spend too much time fretting that you can’t get into your usual hobbies. Keep trying to find positive, productive things that will lift your spirit. Maybe you’re tired of music today because it’s reminding you of a fight, are too blue to go to the gym because there is music playing, but maybe calisthenics and push ups at home would work. Can’t get into guided meditation to change your mood? Have a creative/artistic block? Maybe reading how to speed read and why it’s important is just the thing to give you hope for the future. Or maybe trying a new craft might be a new discovery to share/inspire friends on social media, or have more skills to attract money in the market place.
There are benefits to seeing a talent through 10,000 hours of practice over many years. But, it’s ultimately up to you how much you stretch your limits and focus on getting better in the present moment that adds up over time. Remember when you learned a new thing and that moment was full of excitement?
3. Stop unproductive over-thinking. All day everyday we are thinking. It is the key to our emotions, so I’ve been being more aware of learning new things by reading instead of beating myself up with “shoulds” and things that I think will prequalify me to be able to do something. It’s worth giving something a try to see what’s truly needed to do something. Know it’s never too late to learn new things especially if you have strengths that could be applied to other areas.
Don’t assume anything. One angry customer does not mean every customer will be angry, especially after you learn more about how to help them. Maybe, after you talk to someone or are just around someone they may seem to be in a bad mood and those things can seem related if you start wondering if you remind them of one of their problems, but truly are these things your responsibility? I think beyond asking about it, seeing things from their point of view, and being reasonable, Dean would probably say, “No, don’t take it personally”. Comments mysteriously dissapearing can make one feel they said something wrong or irrelevant, but a deleted comment might just be an accident from an automatic spam filter. And someone being nice may just be a genuinely nice person.
4. Focus on the positive outcome. For those who have drove in their life–we’ve all had that experience: something catches our eye and our vehicle like magic starts drifting that direction.
Now, visualize where you want to succeed, what makes you happy, try to imagine what the missing piece of the puzzle may be, go through the steps, and what that would look like. The next thing you know, you’ll have a new trick/idea to work on and get better at.
Protect your peace. Negative stuff is going to scream for your attention, you may even try to control other’s negativity (like me writing this article, oops). After the point of sharing what I think may work for me though, I’m just going to let negativity pass by; especially if I have no control over that situation. The more we practice focusing on happiness, that’s where our vehicles will go.
5. Let go of specific outcomes. Hold on to dreams loosely, because you may have to brainstorm to make them better, and ride a new current.
6. Don’t be afraid to fail. I tell my son, each failure is a step towards success. Sometimes you need to rule out how not to do something before honing in on the perfect technique. Be proud that you tried at an opportunity, and look for the lessons.
7. Let go of grudges. I’m going to use a computer metaphor here: Clear up some RAM for good stuff. Take a deep breath, clear the cache, history, close/delete useless programs, and let those cookies expire.
8. Be grateful for what is in front of you. Got some walls around you protecting you from the bitter cold wind? I don’t care what’s going on with or around me, after working nights; the greatest place in the world is a soft mattress, with nice sheets, and fluffy blanket and pillow.
About to pop off and quit? Think about all those paid bills or the ones that are outstanding. That saved me from making a rash fool of myself at work when I was starting out. After some time had passed, things weren’t as biting anyways, and I was thankful I was able to prove to myself I could stay calm in that moment; that’s a plus one for confidence.
9. Don’t settle for “good enough”. Strive for the next level in skills. If you’re not feeling appreciated, then show others you trust and you know love you unconditionally that you want to improve the relationship. Find opportunities to share fun.
Prove to yourself that you are awesome. Do the best you can. Put your best foot forward.
10. Be part of something bigger. It could be spiritually, or with purpose. Something as simple as providing food for another can make one feel needed and give purpose and longevity. What makes you feel you made the world a better place?
Have a purpose? Find that emotional motivation to see you through the storm using this method.
Please see this link about how a group of people started a 501c3 to help a city recover after a disaster.
Wouldn’t it be fun to get together with friends and raise money for those problems that just seem so out if reach to solve? No one has the energy to put together a huge event single handedly. Perhaps you are undergoing a project that could use a monetary/idea boost? Keep checking back because I will provide a list of ideas below of farms, cities, businesses, organizations, or what not (not sure about our government right now) looking to raise awareness, attract supporters, and create a community. 🙂
I don’t know everything about it; please don’t mind me too much if I’m getting ahead of myself. But I do want to learn more about how to attract and persuade money into solving or supporting certain issues. It would be great to create a space for people willing to help themselves and inspire others about mental health. It would be great to raise money for those who newly aquire land and want to learn to design or want to hire someone to help them design a permaculture paradise (which would help create healthy food). And, it would be great to raise money to provide food and shelter to lost domestic animals.
At this moment, I would give money to those causes. I would run 5k (hacking and spitting after the first 3rd of it). And I would listen to a stream of an interview.
I know it can seem overwhelming, and because our schedules are already overbooked with work, school, and housework responsibilities. I understand if all that seems like too much. For now let’s recharge, and keep reading. I don’t know what steps need to be taken to get there. But, maybe, if that’s what one wants to do, then it can be figured out. Rome wasn’t built in a day, week, or probably even over months time. For now, I’ll try to stay focused on my base responsibilities. 🙂
I’ve heard Goodwill offers help in achieving financial goals: http://www.goodwill.org/find-jobs-and-services/
If you talk to a higher level official at your local bank (Branch Manager) they are part of Rotary Club or Lions Club and have meetings for fundraising events like pancake breakfasts, fishboils, and probably more: https://www.rotary.org/en
What memories do you want in your ideal year?
Is there something symbolic about this full moon, that happens to be on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day?
Would you like to start a fun tradition with your favorite people on a certain time of the month: like drum circles, bon fires, practicing martial arts, listening to music/movie night, or just visiting?…
Reading those books collecting dust?
Do I want to try a new sport like paintball? Ehh…prolly not. Lol.
Support other’s goals with providing vision, motivation, time/space, and listening/ideas/complements?
What positive things have replaced the outdated?
What kinds of things restore energy for you?
What kinds of things change your mood for the better?
What topics interest you?
This year, I see so much optimism for this new year. That would be nice, right? I have time to think about these things, but how to actually get it done? Sometime’s I do, and sometimes I’m like, “…, I forgot.”
What is an effective way you help yourself remember what you want to do?
Please use the link above to support mental health. You never know who can find comfort, understanding, and hope.
Sometimes, people just want to tell their story. What has worked for them. What hasn’t. And maybe, find a way to see the silver lining.
When things get tough for me, I start reading. Reading is a bit like meditation, only you get to see through other’s eyes, and while reading, negative thoughts have no room. The Bi-Polar Writer is one of the sources that I feel help me understand human experiences, and prevent me from using my time to focus on things that do not match with good purpose.
James has really inspired me, because even when things are tough for him, he gets through them. He gets a plan. He follows through and achieves goals despite what pain may be trying to drag him down. Not only that, but he helps others feel heard and valued.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read about this.
When I first get there, sometimes I’m like:
Because I never know who’s going to be there, what the energy is going to be like on the ice, or who’s watching; and that can be unnerving. People skate for dates, to frolic with their friends, to show their children a great time (taking lots of pictures), and sometimes flying solo yet part if it all. I just like to remind myself of my true purpose: to feel that thermogenesis, breathe, enjoy the music, get some cardio, burn those extra carbs (so it’s kind of detoxing), get better at tricks (if it’s safe and not too crowded), and do my best not to take a tragic fall. Though I try to stay chill, I am there to expend energy. Most the time I feel it gets inertia going of having more energy and a boost in mood than when I arrived sometimes (especially at the beginning of the season).
There are certain safety traditions I keep for my comfort. So, before I even take off to go skating, I’ll put on some volleyball knee protectors, and they are ok, but not as good as some straight up hard plastic shell knee pads. It’s important to have thick enough socks, or a couple regular pair. You don’t want your feet wiggling around in your boots, so tight laces (but not contricting to circulation or chaffing) is helpful.
It’s very easy to get over zealous when an energetic song is playing, but that’s when mistakes are made and a sudden belly flop on the ice, possibly breaking a rib, is a trick no one wants to learn. So, in a way, it teaches one to be weary of your level of consiousness on the present moment.
And then!– I love focusing on the texture of the ice. That is, how the blades glide or grind across the surface. When the music and the ice are good it’s a blissful ASMR experience, because it can be felt throughout the body. The sound of the blades arching across the ice can be heard through the air, best in tandem with the beat of the song.
This is where blinders are not a friend. It’s best to look before moving anywhere, because running into people is very embarrassing. Though I don’t mind it if people run into me. I don’t give it much thought.
Sometimes a sudden break must be made. Some people like the hockey stop, and there is nothing quite like a sudden hockey stop at your blades to wake up the old ticker (heart). Lol. For me though, I go pigeon toed (heels out, toes pointed together, and leaning back with the legs putting weight on the hips). The weight on the blades through the texture of the ice creates even more intense vibrations/sounds.
Just beginning, it can be intimidating. The ice can hurt, so that demands respect. But with time, observation, and feeling things out– trust and balance is learned.
I imagine that I am going to walk right into that kitchen and chef the heck out of some veggies and just eat them. Shovel those things like it’s my job. Then I walk into the kitchen and my mood is like blah…
Good Brain Cell: We really need to eat more vegetables.
Apathetic Brain cell: There’s powdered carrot in this birthday cupcake. 🙂
Quality Control Brain Cell: These green beans don’t look so good. 😦
Thirsty Brain Cell: There’s vegetables in tea. 🙂
Tired Brain Cell: …Can’t lift bag of kale…
Adventurous Brain Cell: Let’s just go get some motherwort from the back yard.
Blind brain cell: Let’s boil these beets and forget all about them.
Grumpy Brain Cell: We don’t have time for this, just grab something and let’s go!
Now, I need to just clear everything, and start over on a new week.
I’m trying to wrap my mind around how I can turn a bucket of food scraps into this;
Without attracting too many rodents (I know local cats and a certain red shouldered hawk do not mind, but my human neighbors might).
And then I start imagining how I’m going to go outside and start planning out garden beds, and getting soil prepared, allwhile being like Wim Hof:
(As I’m in my house shivering at 65°F looking out my back door)
I slowly get little steps done between a full time job, helping my son with homeschooling, ice skating, cleaning, social media, and uh… etc. How is your vegetable planning going?