Woo Sahh • Anxiety Challenge 20

This day’s challenge is to figure out how to deactivate or neutralize anxieties that were identified the other day. An ordeal can show us important observations. While I was was trying to mind my job one day, my heart feeling like it was frying in a skillet, I remembered an article that I had read. That people who were mindful of their breathing during tough times were found to have more complex brains. I noticed I was not breathing and my focus switched to take a slow deep breath and it felt so awesome. I could literally feel the pain dissolving from my chest.

Another thing that helped me over time is following an anti-candida diet. Which is basically eating as healthy as possible. The beginning phases may seem too stringent, but it’s only to allow the immunity to focus on the dysbiosis than the molds in foods. This time I got sick I knew I would need to get a more up to date book, so bought The Ultimate Candida Cleanse Diet, by Lisa Richards and Dr. Eric Wood, which was an alright price that includes two other books. One a picture filled recipe book with easy directions, and the other book on beating stress. I know as the months go by I will heal and feel at peace, like I have my sunshine shining warm nice feelings. My thoughts will be more helpful and kind because of the kindness I have shown myself.

Today I was really frustrated from all the cleaning, but thankfully my boyfriend was willing to help and that made me feel better.

As for my money situation I guess I will look around for another opportunity and think about it as one would with chess. I also like to watch YouTube videos on online business and minimalism.

And Finally, just writing helps me feel differently. Once I get it out, and people actually like my writing with which I hope I can make it helpful and not too much of a rant. I feel… happy.

I wrote down all symptoms related to my issue and made a tally from my current symptoms which I will do each Friday to make a health chart.

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Identify Anxieties • Anxiety Challenge Day 19

Most of the time I am pretty easy going. Generally, I try not to think about things that make me anxious, though I feel that is life. For relevance I will stick to the big things I know probably effect my health or have some sort of relationship to my health.

This is the weirdest anxiety I feel, I can’t understand. It’s a bit like Squidward refusing to eat a Krabby Patty and then one day he eats one, and he loves it and doesn’t want anyone to know, so he tries to go to work early to sneak into the Krabby Patty vault (which only exists in that episode) and SpongeBob catches him, but can’t stop Squidward from inhaling Krabby Patties and exploding from eating too many.

I’m always trying to eat healthy and somehow some other article gets me confused and it sets me back. Sweet potatoes are sweet, but I read about how they are healthy for diebetics and somehow thought that was ok. It’s not really. It’s not on the list for the first phase in any candida diet. But for now I will just glad I got some calories. Before I got sick I thought I was managing things well, but I made a lot of mistakes.

Money is a huge anxiety. I start to figure out how to make more money, but yeah… usually I end up asking my boyfriend for help with food, and then later remind me he helped me with that. I guess all I can say is thank you.

Seeing my boyfriend make a mistake causes anxiety too. Sometimes I don’t know how to word things so they sound helpful. Sometimes he is so tired. And I can understand that. Lately I’ve been trying to understand what is going on with him. I ask questions, and try to inspire him to see different perspectives. But most of the day I’m just trying to be helpful and appreciative. I ask that he keeps trying. I have seen how making an effort to do 3 or so nice things a day for my son has helped him because he puts more effort into doing a good job at school, so I try to me mindful and helpful to see if that will work for my boyfriend too.

Get Back to the Good Skills • Anxiety Challenge Day 18

It was quite the challenge trying to figure out what I’m good at. Over time my interests change so much. It’s hard to know what to say to anyone anymore about me, except where I work and who is in my family.

Can I trust I will go and garden, though I wish to and want to talk about it with people only to be trying to work 3 jobs and keep a house clean? I have 2 associate degrees in things I have no more interest in (Graphic Design, and Industrial Technologdy). At one point I loved art and music. Now, my only hope is that all the time put in learning can be applied to something.

Getting sick does remind me of the basic skills that slowly improve with time. Scouring through websites, and checking out/buying healthy cooking books, and watching YouTube videos have helped open a new world of food and health that doesn’t come out of a box. I definitely know I could be better, but I see how much I have learned since I moved out of my parents house and it’s kinda neat to think about.

Quinoa, motherwort, celery, mint, yarrow, and dandelion

Not making any suggestions, just showing my efforts into creating a better balance so the body has what it needs for a fair fight. This is what has healed me from less painful symptoms. What you don’t see is I have forsaken my fast calorie habits (bread, chips, starchy fruit, large portions of meat, coffee…*update I can’t live without coffee*) for healthier habits like eating low glycemic foods and as much non-starchy veggies as I can chop/grate and throw in a pot to steam. The pain this time around will not be forgotten, and I will do my best not to see healthy food as too expensive.

Time • Anxiety Challenge Day 17

Car payments, bills, work obligations, housework, homeschool coaching, and so many things I need to do make it a challenge to fit everything in. So much slips away undone. This I think would be great to do when finding time for myself:

-spend it on gathering wild edibles with antifungal properties

-grow herbs like cilantro to chelate the lead lingering in my bones

-And prepare healthier meals for myself, even if I were the only one enjoying them.

I am very proud of how I helped my son keep his interest in school. It takes 100% attention to keep him focused, and I need to get him to practice his multiplication more.

I am glad that I am able to help my parents with bills. That my boyfriend is not loosing his job for not having a car. That I am able to lift the labor burden from others.

Unlock Nostalgia with the Nose • Anxiety Challenge Day 16

Have you ever smelled something that transported you to another place and time?

-Maybe it was a citris scent that reminded how nice it is to be able to go to the store and pick and buy you favorite citrus.

-Maybe it was Frankincense that reminded you of a dried flower shop visited as a child.

-Maybe some Robbers essential oil will remind you of the holidays of all the past baked goods full of cinnamon.

Want to make a child happy? Put a drop of peppermint oil on a volcanic rock, or give them an empty bottle (if they are over 7) and watch how amazed they are. What’s a scent that takes you to another place and time?

Challenge Time:

Today, I tested if smelling an essential oil would help calm me through trying to to get a broken microwave to be accepted by a big box store under manufacturer warranty. I’m sceptical of thinking I can get any help with this even though customer service on the phone sounds optimistic. Just as I suspected, they don’t take anything back over 90 days, I call the protection plan and they won’t take it because it’s still under manufacturer warranty under a year. And so it looks like I made the wrong decision to buy a microwave, will not have one for awhile, and I feel even less trusting and embarrassed of this company. I felt no one would listen to me and just wanted to talk down to me. I couldn’t stop shaking. I wanted to chuck the microwave, and forget I ever wanted one.

So inhaling deeply I knew that breathing alone would probably be immensely helpful. The smell helped get me back to the present moment. Also, I was returning to a place where I could think of pleasenter things in life. Most importantly, I was now able to process more positive ideas. Thoughts including: I will get it sorted out eventually. I don’t want to make anyone’s job harder than it already is, because I know too well how that feels. I know I will miss fast rice, tea, coffee, and frozen dinners. But, now I have something I can grump about to relate with people. Maybe I can have more little bon fires and make some cowboy coffee.

Even if you don’t want to invest in special smelly things. You could take a mental note, or keep a list of observations of great smells that you come across as the seasons cycle.

Somethings can’t be helped and we know it’s going to be a bummer, but I am determined to find other ways to feel peace. What are some scents that you really like?

I Can Stress Ball Anything • Anxiety Challenge Day 15

I grabbed a piece of paper and stress balled it, that is I smashed it into a ball. I had seen guys do this in my teens, and now I feel part of the ranks of people with a legit coping mechanism. And maybe that’s why art like sculpture is so theraputic.

I had acid in my heart from a guest’s sharp words,

“Why are big dogs allowed in a hotel?” She was the third complaint already, honestly I could here the dog’s crying from the hallway on the first floor when the dog was on the 2nd floor!

Flashes of big beautiful dogs I had met here flashed through my mind. Infact they were the highlight of my day, “We’re a pet friendly hotel.”

“I would not have rented this room for $149 if I knew there would be dogs here.”

“I just called them, they are 5 minutes from getting back”

“I don’t want to hear a dog barking all night!”

“They will be here to comfort him, so he will not bark all night.

“You sure about that?”

“Yes.”

I doubted that smashing anything into a ball would help, but I noticed that uncomfortable feeling went away. Maybe it would have went away even without crumpling something, but maybe it helped me get back to center quicker, that is get back from my angryness to present moment. The moral of the story is that I have to ask everyone with a dog not to leave them alone before hand.

Stress Ballin’ in the garden:

Step one find a specimen. It could in the wrong spot, have a nice smell, or just need trimming. A catalpa plant sprouts prolificately and no one can coppice quickly and chaotically. It’s shady tough tenacious nature makes it a fun tree species to watch grow throughout the seasons.

Step 2 grab a bit.

Strep 3: Crush the fricks out of it, notice how it smells.

Step 4, put it in the garden as mulch or compost. Or if it’s edible, maybe you’d like to make tea?

My sad abandoned garden.

If you are having a tough time with something, maybe you might think of this and tell me how it goes? Or maybe you can think of a time that kept you in that stressed space for more than it should and you stress balled something you shouldn’t have?

100 Things

https://wp.me/p9aCpH-1HI

I love this post about finding 100 things to like about one’s self. Chelsea wrote this in the Bipolar Mental Health Blog. If you find yourself being critical give it a try. I wanted to inspire others with some ideas incase they were having trouble thinking of anything. Are some of these traits you are glad you have as well?

1. Help when possible.

2. Can read.

3. Can write.

4. Enjoy going for a run.

5. Can make someone laugh.

6. Work a job.

7. Keep bills paid.

8. Keep a car maintained.

9. Clean the house.

10. Don’t let other’s opinion define my self.

11. Strive to act with integrity.

12. Happy when others succeed.

13. Seek to comfort.

14. Not judgmental, unless slighted.

15. Still and observant.

16. Can speak in front of crowds.

17. Like to challenge myself.

18. Can cook.

17. Basic knowledge of local plants and their status of edibility and how to prepare.

18. Like to do math.

19. Can plant perennial flowers like irises, mint, oregano, yucca, daylillies, and hostas and they survive.

20. People have paid me money to plant flowers, remove unwanted plants, and spread mulch.

21. Can drive.

22. Feel appreciated by my partner.

23. Appreciate the help of my partner.

24. Cares for pets by providing food and fresh water every day.

25. Can accept my mistakes, avoid them in the future, and warn others so they might prevent the same fate from happening again.

26. In control of my choices.

27. Can organize my priorities and get things done

28. Can identify problems coming up over the horizon and plan accordingly with what resources available.

29. Like to learn new words from other languages.

30. Like to learn about other cultures.

31. Not attached to material things.

32. Take steps to share things I no longer need.

33. Know when and why anger/fear happens, and how to let it go so it doesn’t get in the way of problem solving.

34. Better at saying no without getting stuck in an unwinnable argument.

35. Have stopped over explaining so much.

36. Considerate of others as much as possible for what I am focusing on.

37. Take care of myself.

38. Make healthy choices.

39. Can hear and listen.

40. Worthy to feel dignity.

41. Can accept myself, and be at peace.

42. Don’t have to prove anything outlandish to anyone.

43. Don’t compare myself to anyone.

44. Can enjoy the profound things that people learn.

45. Can do 4 pull ups (not to be confused with dooing in 4 pull-ups, I’ll do that much later).

46. Can do dips.

47. Can do lots of push ups.

48. No longer feel the need to wear push ups.

49. Enjoys the moment

50. Enjoy hating music that cannot be escaped from.

51. Can appreciate new and old music.

52. Have reduced my fossil fuel use, trying to stick to just necessity.

53. Stays out of arguing about politics.

54. Stays motivated, for the most part.

55. Can find things to be interested in.

56. Doesn’t sleep in as horribly as I used to.

57. Seek to improve myself, never giving up on myself.

58. Have hope that I can get better at organizing my time.

59. People pay me to clean.

60. People are impressed with how I keep items stocked during a breakfast buffet.

61. Can type fairly quickly and accurately.

62. Have learned to write better by coaching my son in school.

63. Seeing old aquaintances is a happy discovery for me.

64. Celebrate even small achievements.

65. Can remember my dreams.

66. Still believe in magic.

67. Still read to my son.

68. Love to roller skate and ice skate.

69. Learning to ask more questions to understand things better and help people feel included.

70. I am mindful to keep healthy eye habits such as going for walks without glasses, nutrition, and proper eye rest.

71. I don’t keep stereotypes or opinions outside of context. I keep the benefit of the doubt until I get proof.

72. Pretty good at keeping a budget.

73. Pretty good with logic.

74. Not addicted to video games.

75. Can tolerate some cold.

76. Don’t limit myself.

77. More open to feedback or contructive criticism.

78. Keep a growth mindset.

79. Seek to create unique content while enjoying a conversation with others.

80. Understand how to use AdSense.

81. Could do better with AdSense

82. Have empathy.

83. Am patient.

84. Know how to ask for help in a way others feel needed.

85. Was able to create heat in a thermophilic compost pile.

86. Know the proper technique for kicks, punches, and blocks.

87. Know yoga

88. Understand scales, chords, and music notation.

89. Can keep rhythm on a djembe.

90. Won’t criticize anyone for saying djembe wrong (did that once, it sucked)

91. Always forgive, but don’t always trust.

92. Learned to state expectations.

93. Have worked to understand people better.

94. Give hugs everyday

95. Believe everyone matters.

96. Seek to know thyself

97. Seek to keep the 8 noble paths of buddism

98. Religiously tolerant, but knows to not get used.

99. Love flying spaghetti man.

100. …that one’s a secret. 😉

Meditation • Anxiety Challenge Day 13

Cleaning and being observant of my thoughts I learned that being bullied in highschool really hurt and sometimes still does. Perhaps a helpful thing would be being ready for that moment when someone is thoughtless with their comments about what so and so stepped in we can remind them that they are not part of that issue. To the person suffering public humiliation I would hope that someone would tell them that they are a valuable person and that it’s not their fault that some people lack manners.

Say No to Bullies

How to spot if your child is being bullied, how to support them, and how to document the incidents (https://www.hoganinjury.com/bullying-and-your-role-as-a-parent/).

Go to Bed an Hour Early • Anxiety Challenge Day 10

Well, this is boring. But I have tried this before on bad days, and I can say I had way more energy the next day, but that’s generally when I have no energy.

It is vital to get enough sleep for thise who have anxiety. I read about it in this Bustle article: https://www.bustle.com/p/11-hacks-for-people-with-high-functioning-anxiety-that-experts-swear-by-10937689

20 Minutes of Cardio • Anxiety Challenge Day 9

What’s better to do in 90°F high humidity weather than 20 minutes of cardio? Well, I decided a slow jog around a shady park might be the most forgiving. Three laps later I got some water, took my shoes, and heavy cotton t-shirt off (keeping a spaghetti string undershirt on of course) and ran 3 more laps then I did a walk to cool down. Then I did some Wim Hof breathing and held my breath for a minute three times.

An interesting observation was that my hands were very warm. And three hours later they are still warm, but not as hot as my face.

Usually I like to do pull-ups, Australian pull ups, and dips, but I was too tired and hot this time.

When I got home I realized I had a blister on my foot. But all in all, even though I like to meditate more than exercise; exercise is probably more effective at chilling me out. As far as I know, if I can tire myself out I won’t be laying awake feeling my heart race like last night, I hope anyway.