What gives people the motivation to start a career, or start a business? How do people have the gumption to get up in the morning to make their bed in five minutes as part of their routine? Before reading Millionaire Success Habits, by Dean Graziosi, I probably would have just grumbled at those questions, because that’s just the default way I have perceived my world so far. But now I know: one has to consciously, tenaciously practice happiness. I’m going to be replacing those energy zapping thoughts and emotions with these 10 tips. Now, I can reread them until I can recall them as tools in my mental toolbox:
1. Define what happiness looks and feels like to you. What brings you peace and makes you smile? What purpose gives your life meaning? What are you thankful for? Make a list, and add too it often. Know that what makes you happy will change as you change in life.
2. Make the present your friend, and be happy today. If you’re having a bad moment, then it’s ok to take comfort in the thought that every day is different, or that you and your friend have tickets to a great show Friday. Just don’t tell yourself you have to wait for some life altering event to happen like kids moving out or buying your own place to finally be happy.
Please, don’t spend too much time fretting that you can’t get into your usual hobbies. Keep trying to find positive, productive things that will lift your spirit. Maybe you’re tired of music today because it’s reminding you of a fight, are too blue to go to the gym because there is music playing, but maybe calisthenics and push ups at home would work. Can’t get into guided meditation to change your mood? Have a creative/artistic block? Maybe reading how to speed read and why it’s important is just the thing to give you hope for the future. Or maybe trying a new craft might be a new discovery to share/inspire friends on social media, or have more skills to attract money in the market place.
There are benefits to seeing a talent through 10,000 hours of practice over many years. But, it’s ultimately up to you how much you stretch your limits and focus on getting better in the present moment that adds up over time. Remember when you learned a new thing and that moment was full of excitement?
3. Stop unproductive over-thinking. All day everyday we are thinking. It is the key to our emotions, so I’ve been being more aware of learning new things by reading instead of beating myself up with “shoulds” and things that I think will prequalify me to be able to do something. It’s worth giving something a try to see what’s truly needed to do something. Know it’s never too late to learn new things especially if you have strengths that could be applied to other areas.
Don’t assume anything. One angry customer does not mean every customer will be angry, especially after you learn more about how to help them. Maybe, after you talk to someone or are just around someone they may seem to be in a bad mood and those things can seem related if you start wondering if you remind them of one of their problems, but truly are these things your responsibility? I think beyond asking about it, seeing things from their point of view, and being reasonable, Dean would probably say, “No, don’t take it personally”. Comments mysteriously dissapearing can make one feel they said something wrong or irrelevant, but a deleted comment might just be an accident from an automatic spam filter. And someone being nice may just be a genuinely nice person.
4. Focus on the positive outcome. For those who have drove in their life–we’ve all had that experience: something catches our eye and our vehicle like magic starts drifting that direction.
Now, visualize where you want to succeed, what makes you happy, try to imagine what the missing piece of the puzzle may be, go through the steps, and what that would look like. The next thing you know, you’ll have a new trick/idea to work on and get better at.
Protect your peace. Negative stuff is going to scream for your attention, you may even try to control other’s negativity (like me writing this article, oops). After the point of sharing what I think may work for me though, I’m just going to let negativity pass by; especially if I have no control over that situation. The more we practice focusing on happiness, that’s where our vehicles will go.
5. Let go of specific outcomes. Hold on to dreams loosely, because you may have to brainstorm to make them better, and ride a new current.
6. Don’t be afraid to fail. I tell my son, each failure is a step towards success. Sometimes you need to rule out how not to do something before honing in on the perfect technique. Be proud that you tried at an opportunity, and look for the lessons.
7. Let go of grudges. I’m going to use a computer metaphor here: Clear up some RAM for good stuff. Take a deep breath, clear the cache, history, close/delete useless programs, and let those cookies expire.
8. Be grateful for what is in front of you. Got some walls around you protecting you from the bitter cold wind? I don’t care what’s going on with or around me, after working nights; the greatest place in the world is a soft mattress, with nice sheets, and fluffy blanket and pillow.
About to pop off and quit? Think about all those paid bills or the ones that are outstanding. That saved me from making a rash fool of myself at work when I was starting out. After some time had passed, things weren’t as biting anyways, and I was thankful I was able to prove to myself I could stay calm in that moment; that’s a plus one for confidence.
9. Don’t settle for “good enough”. Strive for the next level in skills. If you’re not feeling appreciated, then show others you trust and you know love you unconditionally that you want to improve the relationship. Find opportunities to share fun.
Prove to yourself that you are awesome. Do the best you can. Put your best foot forward.
10. Be part of something bigger. It could be spiritually, or with purpose. Something as simple as providing food for another can make one feel needed and give purpose and longevity. What makes you feel you made the world a better place?
Have a purpose? Find that emotional motivation to see you through the storm using this method.